Drakensang: The Definition of Lying

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  1. GodChronos

    GodChronos Forum Expert

    EDIT: *Hmm the title is actually misleading xD*

    So I barely read the story of the game while I progress forward and there is 0% I will make a new character to do it, Tried reading the Compendium at least so I have a bit of a clue on the story. Anyways Ima try to make my own story of the game only this time its from a perspective of a character, In Here drakensang isnt a game but actually a world. Im bored so I thought why not after all Im good at writing stories. (All Pictures Are Taken From Google). Usually I use my fav music when writing but this time I decided to choose music that fits the theme) If you want you can do the same when reading.

    Prologe / Chapter 0: First Unknown Encounter


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    The first thing I saw when I got there was lightning and thunder. It was dark and we had travelled for a long time by now. Shouldnt be long untill we get there. I dont ever want to go back there, Never! I cant... Not anymore at least. I decided to join the Alliance to help bring good to this world and the others. For every good man there is a bad one, for every failure there can be a success. Is it true that if I believe hard enough I can fix my mistakes? I can already see the light from the fortress tower. All I could see in this boat were stangers, they were all friends with each other and only I was alone. I was never the kind of man to talk to others, to do things together or even... e-even... sacrifice my self for them... Was It wrong? maybe, who knows. All I know is that now its a new start for me, a better life for everyone here but most importantly a chance... to die in peace without having to worry about anyone ever again.

    - Something Feels wrong here , said one of the guys behind me
    - Didnt they say that someone would wait for us in the harbour? yet I cant see anyone in there.
    - Really? No one thought why there is lightning in the most protected place around here? This place is literly magic proof that even lightning cant get close to it.

    The boat stopped, we were very close to the harbour. The man who was in charge of sailing the boat suddently stopped. I will go check if anything happend meanwhile try to wait in the boat and dont swim anywhere. He jumped of the boat and swam across the ocean to the fortress. Wasnt the smartest choice, This boat is filled with men and women who barely know how to fight. If we were to get attacked we would probably sink before getting to land and even than we would die... I guess my wish came true.

    I laid on my back, closed my eyes and slept. The night is so peaceful, you can almost think you are alone. Did I do the right thing that moment? Not at all because the moment I woke up, I was alone. No one else was in the boat besides me. How long have I been asleep for? They didnt bother waking me up... Why would they? Im not their friend or anything. They are just like the rest.

    I swam to the harbour, Leaving my weapon and shield at the boat. Once I got there I looked at the area. The fortress was so big and so beatiful, I dont see any reason for anyone to want to leave this place, just think how it looks like in the day light.

    The place is really quiet for some reason. The light is still on yet there is no one around. Where could they possiblly have gone to? Did they found the beds already and are now sleeping while Im wandering around here? Defenseless and weak... Cant even protect my self! My hands turned to fists and I was filled with anger, I fell to the ground with my head looking down. Why does no one give a sh*t about me?! Why am I destined to be alone?!

    - If you stay here you die.
    - If I leave I will die.
    - Why would you die?
    - Where can I go?
    - Does It matter? Just go.
    - Wait...

    I looked up, and saw a mysterious figure wearing a black custome, his face was hidden.

    - Here, Take this.

    He threw a sword and a shield to me.

    - If you want to die in here, than go for it. at least die knowing you did something helpful.
    - Who are you?
    - Search the man who slayed a legendary beast. As far as I know, Im the only one.

    He walked away from me, when suddenly the castle nearby exploded and went on fire. Well at least I know where I should go to.


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    I was running as fast as possible to the castle when I started hearing fighting and people screaming. I didnt know what was going on or what to do but I just kept on running when I suddently saw in front of me a strange creature never to be seen. He was black using a sword and a shield he had an alian face. He opened his mouth so wide and from his mouth a purple object was shot towards me, I jumped to the left when that object hit a barrel and destroyed it completely. The sword looked to be a part of his hand and his sharp teeths.... FOCUS! The creature ran towards me. I was so scared I didnt know what to do I can barely fight! When he was close to me I bashed him with my shield, kicked him back and swang my sword towards him. He quickly bit the sword and destroyed it to half. I fell backwards without any ability to move. The fear was growing so much inside of me. This wasnt the death I wanted! This isnt going to be that death! I quickly stood up and ran towards him bashing him again with my shield, he fell backwards, I took his hand and inserted it inside him finishing him off! The creature was still on his feet and he started to get angry. he shot that purple object again only this time realy fast, I ran and kept dodging but the speed was so fast I had no chance of attacking him back. Finally I noticed... There were More! And they came to me. I just ran from there. I had no chance against that creature I dont even know what is it and my weapon cant do anything against it. I heard someone screaming for help but I couldnt come to his aid. I couldnt do anything! Without seeing one of the creatures stabbed me. I was bleeding and was about to pass out. I am not a warrior, I am not a fighter. I screamed "I dont want to die!".
    Behind the creature a man showed up slaying it and giving me a hand.

    - We need to get away from here! can you stand up?
    - I think so.
    - Help me find more people, we need to save them!
    - S-sure...

    He ran to one direction while I ran to the other. My mind was so confused I couldnt think at all when I heard more explosions and even more. More blood, More screaming. Will it ever end?! I saw a man being ganged up by 3 of those creatures. I had to do something I just couldnt leave anyone at all. I bashed one of them, defended from the other and kicked the third one. I took the sword from the guy who was down and was about to fight those 3 monsters. I ran towards one of them but before I got to him I quickly changed to another and stabbed him, and than again, and again, untill I was sure he was dead. The guy who was down quickly stood up and helped me with his fists fight the last 2 creatures. The thunder was just getting louder and I started feeling so warm all of a sudden.

    - Run! , he screamed

    I followed him, we were running towards the harbour.

    - No I cant go there! , I said
    - Why not? We need to get away?
    - I was saved by someone who risked his life for me not so I can waste them by running away like a coward! Im going to save everyone I can so at least I was able to do something to help!

    He stood there shocked while I ran back towards the screaming to try and help as many people as possible. But all I saw were people getting slaughtered and the blood just kept coming like there was a flood of blood. a Building got destroyed and inside the ruins there was another strange creature, He looked like he was flying a bit, he had some kind of a ring surrounding him, he was colored purple and his hands were sharp, he was made of crystals. He flied towards me so fast I couldnt block when he stabbed me 2 times before I could react and I just fell to the ground. I thought I was doomed when suddenly the guy who wanted to escape came to my aid and bashed the hell of the creature. He looked so raged, Like he was murdering a human. The creature suddently exploded and all the crystals flew towards him and killed him. That is another man who died... He died because I told him to come back... It was all my fault... I cant do anything right. Im weak, We all are but if there is a way to end this quickly than I will do it. I ran towards the castle passing through all the fighters who were about to die I just knew it. Even if I help someone In the end One of us will die and he will die protecting another even if we are 100 people when we are done we will be 1 who will die alone and I dont want to be that guy.

    I entered the castle and saw mages fighting those black creatures using their fireballs. I went ahead and helped them. we fought as many as we could but they just kept on coming and I wasnt able to kill them all. The crystal creatures came from nowhere and murdered the mages. Thats it... I dont want any more death... Im going full on ahead. 20 Creatures? bring more because that wont be enough to kill me! I fought those creatures, I was bleeding anyways. But as long as I can hold a weapon Im still capable of fighting and that is what I need! one of the black monsters bashed me with a shield the crystal stabbed me in the hand. another black bashed me in the face breaking a teeth of mine. Is it the end? probably but I sure as hell didnt die doing nothing. I dont know what is going on but I killed as many as I could and delayed the death of a lot of people but a man has got to know when its time to die. The monsters suddently stopped attacking me and ran even deeper into the castle. Could someone have called them? Is it possible they are commanded by someone? Whoever it is I can barely move there is no way I could follow them. I just have to lay down in here and hope for the best. a Green mist has filled the room. The smell became great, I couldnt feel anything anymore, It felt so good. I was at heaven I knew it. The mist disappeared and I suddenly was able to move again, like I was never ever attacked. What is going on? Could this be the work of some of the fortress magic? whatever it is I have a job to do and that is to follow those monsters. I ran deeper into the castle and entered a big room filled with those 20 monsters. and before me I saw a big staff. The staff looked amazing and I could feel the presence of its power when I suddently couldnt move anymore. I saw another creature teleporting to the room. He took the staff and teleported away. I was able to move again and the monsters have targeted me again. I may be healed but I am not strong enough to kill 20 monsters by my self. A giant fireball just killed them all in an instance. It was one of the greatest masters of the fortress, master vithrandir a great mage.

    - You look like you need some help. Where is grimmag's staff?
    - Some kind of creature took the staff and teleported away. I have no idea where to.
    - Than we must find it. Help me search for it, Follow me.

    Having this guy on my team should make the journey much easier, Its a bigger role than just helping people, This staff seems really important to the master, It might mean it has the power to help us win this battle. We ran deeper into the castle while the master kept shooting at those creatures.

    - Is that staff important?
    - Important? That is the staff of the great grimmag the most powerful mage to have exist. If it falls to the wrong hands it can mean the END OF THE WORLD!

    There were so many monsters in here, yet some how he dealt with them like they were nothing but small animals. Am I really that weak? that I can not fight monsters like that?
    We stood in front of a big door.

    - Inside here is the grave yard. It is the only place the staff could be used by her.
    - Her? here? What?
    - Those are stories you should learn child. Grimmag was buried here. These magic they posses can possible revive him and with the staff he will become invincible with only few possible enemies who can take him down and none of those are on our side. This place isnt something you can enter at ease. Only the great masters are supposed to enter this place. Find other survivors and help them while I do this part alone.
    - Are you kidding me? Im not leaving you alone! You might be the great master but if I return outside I will just be killed. I would rather die after trying to help you at least!
    - This isnt a choice! If you cant handle those guys you have nothing to look inside this room. When you will get strong enough come find me in here. I may be alive or dead but if fate calls for it. You will get here. After all... You have seen it and survived. So I know I will see you again. Goodbye child.

    he opened the door and a big gust of wind came that didnt allow me to even have a peek at what is inside when the doors closed again. Now Im stuck here. Outside is a death zone. I have just been told the possibility of an enemy we cant beat? Is there any chance to win this battle?! My only chance is to save as many people as possible and let them escape from here. I ran back towards the entrance with one goal in mind, To save them all.


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    The first thing I saw when I got outside was a strange looking knight stabbing again and again the same guy who protected me at the first time. He suddently looked around and saw me. He stood up, grabbed his shield and sword and got into a fighting position. He had a mask yet he looked normal. Or is he another kind of those creatures? This guy looks like he is smarter which means I have no way of killing him. He just stood there staring at me. probably waiting for me to make a move. From the very start this day just got worser. But why am I to do now? this guy or creature or whatever he is, Is going to kill me in the worst possible way.

    - Who are You?! , I screamed
    - Why did you kill him?! , I screamed again
    - Are you even a hu-

    His shield bashed my stomach and made me flew back to a wall. I didnt even see him move yet in an instance he got to me. Could this guy be that grimmag guy he was talking about? No its impossible after all grimmag had a staff... Or maybe this guy is from the same group of power grimmag is in? I couldnt hear any more screaming. It felt as if we were the only ones left in here. Well Than I guess I should fight. He again just stared at me. I got into a fighting position and rushed towards him hoping to bash him but he just charged towards me and kicked me in the stomach again throwing me back to the wall. He just kept on running with his sword looking like it is ready to stab me. I quickly moved left and the sword hit the wall and completely destroyed it. What is with all this over powered guys? Is there no way for someone like me kill him? he than moved fast trying to stab me non stop, I protected with my shield yet I couldnt do the same to all of his attacks and I got badly hurt. I knew this time there is no one to save me. Good bye world. As that guy said, At least Ima die knowing I did something helpful... Dying to some knight in a shiny gold armor...



    Well that is the end of the short prologe or chapter 0 if you want to call it that. Tell me your thoughts and remember the theme music is not required tbh I prefer my music but its better to at least hear the theme while reading I guess.


    Chapter 1: Ceremony of Dragon Blood (Completed: 1 / 25)
    Part 1 - A New Friendship Begins

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    I heard birds singing and water flow. The Air smelt fresh and not of blood at all. It was really relaxing. I opened my eyes Slowly To see a forest around me. I was inside a boat sailing on the water to some random place. I thought for sure I died yet somehow Im in a magical place like this. I barely remember what happend and I dont wish to at all. Behind me someone who I had never seen is sailing it. He wore a brown robe, and had brown hair. His back was shown to me so I couldnt see his face.

    - Where am I? , I asked.
    - You are finally awake, was kind of scared you were dead.
    - Who are you?
    - A survivor, who survived the attack on the fortress just like you.
    - The A-Attack? I barely remember anything. My head feels like it got hit really hard.
    - Well dragging you here wasnt an easy job.
    - Thanks... I guess.
    - Dont mention it. To think 10,000 men were guarding that place yet they all died at one night.
    - 10,000 people died?
    - Minus 2 if you count us. You were the only one who was still breathing so I took you with me while I escaped. I do not know how it ended but Im sure with us losing.
    - Who were those creatures?
    - Looked to me like they were a part of the anderworld.
    - The anderworld? but no one has seen that kind of creatures for centuries.
    - Than something is wrong. They came back for some reason and Im sure they will get it before we can do something anyways.
    - Are you giving up? so many people have died for what?
    - For stupidity that is what. Most of them barely know how to fight. We had a few different enemies in the exact same time. We couldnt fight them.
    - Different? I thought only the anderworld attacked us.
    - No, there were more. Even our own kind attacked us.
    - Our own kind? as If that golden armor knight I saw?
    - Probably. He might have been controlled or one of those guys... if a guy like that was on our side we might have had a chance.
    - Yeah... His power was impressive.
    - What did you think when you charged in there?
    - That I dont want to die doing nothing.
    - That is silly. Why do you need to die at all? Even if they die at that moment, If some of them were to survive they could have gotten stronger and than help at the front lines fighting and help a lot more people.
    - Is that why you saved me?
    - I... actually needed you for something.
    - What kind of something?
    - Usually when warriors are done with their fighting training they go through a ceremony to connect their blood with that of a dragon and make a bond. Using that bond they are able to control dragon powers. That is the reason they are called dragon knights.
    - That doesnt really answer my question.
    - Told you, we need people in the front lines. Something has happend and Im sure the fortress isnt the only place that is under attack. We need strong people to help fight them and you are going to become one, after all that is the reason you came to here in the first place. Or am I wrong?
    - No... you were right. But how is this ceremony is going to work anyways?
    - Well... now this is actually where the problem starts. You see the ceremony requires a special item, Tegan's sword. There is only 1 in the entire world and it was kept inside the fortress. Without the fortress it should be impossible to do it.
    - Than what is our plan?
    - If we pretend they took the sword and transfered it to another place we might still be able to find it. Before it was given to the fortress it was kept inside Tegan's sanctuary so it is possible that Tegan actually had 2 swords. We should check if it is true.
    - So we are heading there?
    - We actually have to take a stop before it.
    - Where?
    - My village... I need to make sure it is safe and warn everyone of the incoming war.
    - You know... I just realized I dont even know you. My name is Dilen.
    - Rutol.

    My plan was to stay alone all this time yet here I am with some stranger who I just met travelling to a place where only the strongest dragon knights are allowed to enter with the plan of fighting the anderworld... Seems Im going to die very soon. I wonder... What did happen at the fortress? I remember feeling a strong gust of wind and getting stabbed a lot.

    - Is it possible to kill those creatures?, I asked
    - What do you mean? of course it is.
    - I could barely do anything to them.
    - Yet here you are. But you might be right, maybe a bit of training could be useful. I havent introduced my self good enough. Im Rutol and I was a dragon knight for 7 years already. I was sent to fight a countless beasts and there are even stories of me being told in Jarlshofn.
    - If you are that amazing how come I didnt see you fighting those creatures at all?
    - In that time I was on my way back to the fortress after slaying a beast terrorizing a village north of us. When I realized we are under attack my goal was to try and save as many people as I could but we were swarmed by more than a thousand of those crystals.
    - T-T-Thousand?! I was almost dead by just 2 of those black monsters!
    - They are very weak. You probably were so scared you couldnt think straight.

    That might explain why the master could take them out so easily.

    - Do you know grimmag? , I asked.
    - Of course I know, everyone knows him.
    - How strong was he?
    - He was one of the first spellweavers to exist and the strongest of them all. He could probably destroy the fortress by himself or even help us win the battle. But he is dead unfortunatly.
    - If... if he was alive but against us, what are our chances of winning?
    - No chance at all. But even the greatest undead revivers cant revive such a beast as him without the power of the great spellweavers. Though I guess that isnt impossible for such event to happen. Did something happen back than?
    - Nothing important.

    The sun was already setting down and the birds were quiet. I do feel safe being near that guy but truth be told I am scared we dont have a chance to win this fight. I am sure grimmag is alive and the fortress has been taken down and destroyed. That had to be their goal... To revive grimmag who can destroy probably all of Dracania. I need to train my self, I need to become a strong warrior. Maybe I wasnt completly honest, my goal wasnt only to help all of the people but there was something else that also made me want to join the Alliance.

    - We are here, Come.

    We left the boat and continued walking in the forest. He didnt looked armed at all. If we were to get attacked we couldnt win without any kind of weapon. It was so quiet in here that it felt so strange. It was quiet right before the attack started. I do now even know where the people that were in the boat with me are or our sailor. I do not know what we will find in Tegan's sanctuary or in Rutol's Village.



    Just before my eyes an arrow missed be by a bit and hit the tree next to me. I screamed run and started running forward. More arrows were shot yet I couldnt hear any steps or anything.

    - What is happening?, I asked.
    - How the hell am I supposed to know? My village is at least 2 days away from us. We wont make it there alive in this state. I got you here now do your job and think of a plan!

    I was so scared that I couldnt think straight and didnt know what to do. Every second we are moving we could get shot and die and every mistake I make will also end with us dying. I need to focus, remember what he said "The reason you couldnt do anything was because you were scared" if I want to survive this I need to breath deep and think. We cant see our enemies because we are inside a forest and it is dark and we do not know how many are there.

    - Think faster!
    - Im trying!

    If Rutol is a dragon knight should he be able to use a bit of dragon power? Tales say the dragon knights can harden their skin making it impossible to do anything to them. If he does that and rush to the location the arrows are shot from he might be able to find them in time and decieve them while I run away... But than only I will survive. I felt an arrow hit me right in the leg and made running even harder. I could barely move normally and felt like I was about to fall of. That is it! That is what we need to do. I grabbed rutol and pulled him with me as I fell down. We were both laying on the ground while the arrows were still shooting. I gave him a sign of being quiet. If we cant see them Im pretty sure they cant see us. That means the sound we make while we run is what allows them to know our location. The arrows stopped yet we still couldnt hear anything. I started to crawl and Rutol followed me. The arrow in my leg made it much harder than it already is so I had to take it out quickly. I grabbed it with one hand and holded Rutol while I pulled it off with force. Blood came out and a lot of it but I just kept on crawling. I know that once we have escaped I could fix that problem but as of right now it seems impossible. I could hear light steps towards us and that is when I saw skeletons with swords on their way to us.

    - I guess you did stop the shooting but its not over just yet.

    He charged towards them and that was when I saw his skills. He punched one of them in the skull crushing it completely and took his sword. He cut his bones and kicked him away. 3 more were coming his way so he blocked the first one and used him as a shield vs the other one so he would get cut and die. The third one ambushed him from behind but Rutol was fast enough to dodge and kicked him right in the ribs. His foot got inside the skeleton and got stuck.

    - Help!

    I tried to stand up but it proved a challenge. I charged that skeleton and pulled him away from Rutol allowing him to keep fighting. I took the skeleton's sword and decided to help him fight them off.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNWHHOI9imM

    I got into a fighting position and was ready for them. I could see at least 50 of them yet the strange thing was that none of them had any bows. What was shooting us than?

    - No time to think Dilen! Just fight!
    - Right!

    Time to see what have I learned from my fight against that battle. I knew that my leg wouldnt allow me to walk much so I had to stay in the same location most of the time BUT A REAL MAN DOESNT ALLOW SUCH A THING TO STAND IN HIS WAY! I charged towards the skeletons. I cut one of them, fisted another one breaking his bones and blocked another one. I stabbed him in his head and charged to another one. I blocked against the forth one's sword and gave him a hit with my head in his skull making him fall and finished him off. While I was doing all of this Rutol had managed to take out all of the others.

    - You sure are amazing.
    - Well I wasnt doing nothing for 7 years you know. After all I am a dragon knight. More are coming this way are you still able to fight?
    - Of course! I will kill everyone I see in my way.
    - Here is a pro tip from me for fighting. When you are facing a lot of enemies at once it is better to swing horizontaly than vertically for a chance to damage more enemies at once.
    - Kind of smart actually.
    - You learn this stuff as you go. Now, Left fight!

    I swinged my sword infront of those weak skeletons who barely had any time to do the same. My speed was so amazing that they had no chance of doing anything. I kept slaying more and more. I think I slayed 20 already. I kept on charging forward without even noticing anything around me. I kept stabbing some of them and swang at the others. I felt a thirst for blood that I had never felt before. I felt only rage inside of my body. rage that kept on going more and more untill I was unstoppable and before I noticed I slayed every last one of them. It was quiet again and the rage started to go away as well. I looked everywhere but It was only me in here. Rutol was gone. I guess I got so much into it that I didnt look how much I charged when suddently my leg was hurting like someone was stabbing it non stop. I used it so much that I just fell to the ground unable to move anymore. I dont even know how many I slew but it felt so great. I have to find Rutol and make sure he is ok. a true man doesnt let small things like this to slow him down. No matter how much b-b-blea-a-a-ding is g-goin... My muscles felt hard and I was unable to even move them. All I know is that his village is 2 days away from where I am currently so most likely I will meet him there but I cant move at all. I was saved from that battle for a reason and that doesnt mean I can just die like this. I got stabbed so many times back there and Im about to fall just because of one arrow in my leg? I was able to slay all those skeletons without even feeling the pain. I can do it! I stood up and started walking slowly across the pile of skeletons that I created back to where I last saw him. If he wont be there... he might be heading to Tegan's sanctuary or his village... I barely know the way to any of those locations. 2 days away in which direction? maybe I can try to track him down. It should be easy considering he must have created a pile of skeletons as well. And the question is still in my head, who tried to shoot us? I saw 0 skeletons carrying a bow or arrows. Could Rutol have known who did it and went to him? So many possible locations he could have gone to, where should I start looking? maybe the first reasonable thing to do is implement the thing he told me. I shouldnt keep doing what will make me die but instead make sure I survive and get stronger so I could help him when I find him. even If my chances of finding him are higher now than later on that wound on my leg should be fixed as fast as possible. How can I craft an health potion though? I should first cover the wound to make sure it doesnt get worser, go back to that river and drink some water and than get some sleep. I will leave clues that I went back so that he might find me. I know I am taking a risk of those monsters also finding me but I still want to find him more than anything. I got back to the location where I last saw him and besides the huge pile of skeletons in this place I didnt see any clues to where he could have gone to. I guess I should treat myself as fast as possible and search for him in the morning.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKSFDPEGUZo

    I woke up with my head hurting and my eye sight barely working. Judging by the fact that I am alone I can guess he hadnt come back. It is morning again yet no matter how quiet it is I still feel bad even worser than those fights. I dont want to be alone again. I have no idea how to get out of this forest even. My mind was so scared I couldnt even think of the face we were fighting skeletons. How is that even possible? can the anderworld revive the undead? most likely I guess. I cant think at all after all that I have been through. My goal should be to find the village he was talking about and waiting for him. Still I couldnt be happier of the way that I had fought those skeletons. I felt so good... so much rage... and I actually killed so many of them as well. I feel weak right now yet I can move my muscles without any problem. Once I feel better I should try to look for clues to his whereabouts and find him. I still have my sword with me so I do feel protected and I am sure he is alive as well. I decided to take a nap for a while to get my strength back. The fact that there are random skeletons in the forest means that those creatures are already everywh... WAIT! why are they even here? dead people are buried inside grave yards not randomly in the forest so does that mean there is one nearby? that means there might be another village that I can rest at. Once I woke up it was already noon but I decided to start walking. My leg still wasnt perfect but it stopped bleeding and didnt hurt as much. I came back to the location of those skeletons but... none were there. I couldnt see any of the skeletons we fought like they just disappeard... But how? I know they got revived but how did it happen again? Could it be that the revivers are still here? and that maybe they kidnapped Rutol?! I have to find the graveyard as fast as possible! I will go to the direction the arrows were shot from and hope for the best.
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2016
  2. EhtovK

    EhtovK Old Hand

    Nice!, there's a few grammar mistakes here and there, but it was quite enjoyable, I'm going to leave you with some info regarding the lore, that our CM Haruki got from the team after I asked around and it's not anywhere in game, nor even in the compendium, just in case it's useful for the development of your story in any way:

    Looking forward for the next part, good job. :)
     
    Belei likes this.
  3. _Baragain_

    _Baragain_ Living Forum Legend

    BTW, I love the American flag patch on this dude's shoulder. :p
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  4. GodChronos

    GodChronos Forum Expert

    Thx for the feedback and also mind telling me my grammer mistakes? I wrote it at night yet I want to make sure my english is perfect xD

    --MERGED--

    Part 1 of chapter 1 is out.
     
    Last edited by moderator: Jul 26, 2016
  5. Mal3ficent

    Mal3ficent Guest

    Cheers.
     
  6. DeadDragon123

    DeadDragon123 Forum Apprentice

    Just wow.
     
  7. Mal3ficent

    Mal3ficent Guest

    I did.
    My spam detector is turning on, when detecting a single character "?" in a post.
    To avoid this, please form at least short sentence.

    Cheers.
     
    Eridiani and _Baragain_ like this.
  8. _Baragain_

    _Baragain_ Living Forum Legend

    Sounds like a bump to me and bumps are a no-no.
     
  9. Geema

    Geema Forum Apprentice

    a white item and 7 copper coins...love it...great job
     
  10. Jocom

    Jocom Forum Apprentice

    @GodChronos I copied your story to a document and edited the first few paragraphs for sentence structure, grammar, and spelling all while keeping your original vision. I'd like to send you a copy of what I edited to show you an example of what a little bit more readable version could look like.
     
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