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Animal Jokes

Discussion in 'General Archive' started by BeastMasterXXX, Jan 11, 2014.

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  1. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

    GOL Jane

    Q. What was the first animal is space?

    A. The cow that jumped over the moon :p
     
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  2. *TC1*

    *TC1* All knowing Oracle

    What do you call a chicken in a batman suit?
    Kung-Pow Chicken.:rolleyes:
     
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  3. m.m.60

    m.m.60 Forum Duke

    The hen has laid a huge egg. They met journalists photographed a hen - record holder and the egg. Then they interviewed ****.
    "Sure you're proud of such a large egg?"
    "No."
    "Will you try now with even more egg?"
    "No."
    "And what are your plans for the future?"
    "Shatter mouth ostrich."
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2014
  4. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

    Q. How do you stop a puppy digging holes in the garden?

    A. Take away her shovel :eek:
     
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  5. feej1274

    feej1274 Living Forum Legend

    Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip?
    A: Bison:eek:
     
  6. m.m.60

    m.m.60 Forum Duke

    Pets have a meeting. Just before the end is open the door, walk in the door centipede and angrily asks:
    "What a jerk hang a sign on the door - before entering Thoroughly clean shoes."
     
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  7. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

    A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.
     
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  8. feej1274

    feej1274 Living Forum Legend

    GOL Beast :D:D:D

    Joey: I lost my dog.
    Lauren: Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper?
    Joey: Don't be silly! He can't read:D:D
     
  9. m.m.60

    m.m.60 Forum Duke

    The man comes to the pet store man and along pulls on the leash polar bear.
    "Where's the idiot, that got me here a year ago sold a hamster?"
     
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  10. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

    Q: How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

    A: He used flood lighting. :eek:
     
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  11. m.m.60

    m.m.60 Forum Duke

    Speaking of the Ark, so ...

    [​IMG]
     
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  12. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

    Q: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?


    A: With a cowculator.
     
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  13. feej1274

    feej1274 Living Forum Legend

    Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
    A: "Put it on my bill."
     
  14. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

    GOL. That's bad Fee

    Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?


    A: As far away as possible.
     
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  15. *TC1*

    *TC1* All knowing Oracle

    Why is there no gambling in Africa?
    Because there's too many cheetahs
     
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  16. m.m.60

    m.m.60 Forum Duke

    [​IMG]
     
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  17. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

    There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, “moo” and the other one says, “That’s exactly what I was going to say.”
     
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  18. feej1274

    feej1274 Living Forum Legend

    Q: What state has a lot of cats and dogs?

    A: Petsylvania :eek:
     
  19. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

    Give me a bucket (GMAB) Fee :eek:

    Q. Where do killer whales go to play music?

    A. To the orca-stra
     
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  20. feej1274

    feej1274 Living Forum Legend

    OMG Beast your getting worse GOL:eek:

    Q: What did one flea say to the other?

    A: Should we walk or take a dog? :D:D
     

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