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Animal Jokes

Discussion in 'General Archive' started by BeastMasterXXX, Jan 11, 2014.

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  1. *TC1*

    *TC1* All knowing Oracle

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  2. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

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  3. Jane

    Jane Commander of the Forum

  4. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

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  5. *TC1*

    *TC1* All knowing Oracle

    Seriously big groan Beast!
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  6. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

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  7. *TC1*

    *TC1* All knowing Oracle

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  8. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

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    Last edited: Jan 25, 2014
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  9. *TC1*

    *TC1* All knowing Oracle

    One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord Himself.
    The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know."
    The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."
    The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.
    A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven.
    Again, the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer.
    The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased.
    We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms.
    Running, running, running; we're tired of running.
    Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?"
    The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.
    Week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow.
    The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"
    The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderful here.
    Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"
     
  10. Jane

    Jane Commander of the Forum

  11. *TC1*

    *TC1* All knowing Oracle

    Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
    Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.
     
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  12. feej1274

    feej1274 Living Forum Legend

    Oh dear TC that is bad but funny lol

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  13. Jane

    Jane Commander of the Forum

    - What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
    - It's shadow!
     
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  14. *TC1*

    *TC1* All knowing Oracle

    Why did the chicken cross the playground?
    To get to the other slide:p:rolleyes:
     
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  15. feej1274

    feej1274 Living Forum Legend

  16. Jane

    Jane Commander of the Forum

    - What is a cow's favourite place?


    - A mooseum.
     
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  17. *TC1*

    *TC1* All knowing Oracle

    What do you call a TRex in a sombrero?
    Tyrannosaurus Mex
     
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  18. feej1274

    feej1274 Living Forum Legend

    What happens when a cat eats a lemon?
    It becomes a sour puss:D:D
     
  19. BeastMasterXXX

    BeastMasterXXX Living Forum Legend

    Q: Why don’t bears wear shoes?

    A: What’s the use? They’d still have bear feet!
     
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  20. feej1274

    feej1274 Living Forum Legend

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